Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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