I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
