It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My vagina is very pro this idea
FUCK WHALES
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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