Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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