Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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