Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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