He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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