Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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