omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
