wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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