My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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