he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Randomize
