come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
