Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
