ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
