Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
