Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
