He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
