I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize