yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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