her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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