you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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