Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
