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The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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