You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
