She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
