i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
