I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
