I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My first STD was from a foam party
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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