I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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