Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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(516): View more from New York

my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now

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(904): View more from Florida

the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too

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(386): View more from Florida

Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom

(407): View more from Florida

You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.

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