Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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