She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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