I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
