There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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