he shaved USA in his pubs
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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