Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
