All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
