Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
