Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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