I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize