JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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