We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
