So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
