just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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