He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
