just tell him i said nine months
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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