on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
