I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I currently don't understand fingers.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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