Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
