Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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