i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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