PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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