I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
