i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
