jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
