if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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