Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
